Jen Hatmaker's "Awake": A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Finding Her Voice
Jen Hatmaker, a former evangelical writer and speaker, chronicles her journey of personal and spiritual awakening in her new memoir, Awake (Avid Reader, Sept. 23). The book details the painful unraveling of her 26-year marriage in 2020, her evolving views on faith and sexuality, and her path to self-discovery after years within the evangelical community. Following a public split with her evangelical base, Hatmaker reveals her story of resilience and newfound independence.
Facing Upheaval and Rebuilding
The memoir addresses the dark side of purity culture, male-dominated church hierarchies, and how women were taught to diminish themselves. After a long career within the evangelical community, Hatmaker faced significant backlash in 2016 when she publicly reversed her theological stance on LGBTQIA2S+ issues, leading to the loss of much of her traditional following. She describes her shock when her husband left in July 2020, stating "This was not Hatmaker’s first brush with upheaval and loss."
Despite this, she rebuilt her community: “To my surprise, a beautiful new community emerged.” Now she hosts a weekly podcast called “For The Love,” with almost 500,000 followers. In September, she told Time, “I still love Jesus but church is hard for me,” indicating her complex relationship with organized religion. Awake dives into her experiences as a single woman, mother of five, and her path toward self-acceptance.
Discovering Herself After Divorce
Awake explores Hatmaker's emotional journey as she redefines herself after years of marriage and religious conformity. She grapples with the “what-ifs” of her marriage while embracing her hopes for the future. The book addresses themes of betrayal, healing, and the courage to trust one's intuition. Hatmaker explores her evolving relationship with faith and sexuality in a new, open manner.
"I hope my readers feel very seen, very understood, very not alone in whatever is going on in their lives," Hatmaker said. "I hope they will relate to the story of divorce and loss, that they will understand upheaval and recalibrate for a strong second half."
Confronting the Past and Embracing the Future
Hatmaker hopes that Awake will offer solace and inspiration to readers navigating their own struggles with loss and self-discovery. The book explores themes of patriarchy, body shame, gender limitations, and misogyny, which the author realized may have contributed to the end of her marriage. She describes her current relationship as “right and good, easy and uncomplicated.”
In an interview with Flow Space, Hatmaker noted her initial struggles, "But in this case, my brain was not helpful. My brain had seen too much. My brain had pictures and texts and emails that I could not unsee. And so my brain was on a loop of grief and trauma and fear and humiliation." She explained that she worked through this by turning to her body, "I had to turn to my body, and that is not something I have ever used as a reliable source of wisdom in my life."
A Controversial Break from Evangelicalism
The book also explores Jen Hatmaker’s departure from traditional evangelicalism and her adoption of more progressive viewpoints on issues such as LGBTQ+ rights and women’s autonomy. This shift has garnered both praise and criticism, solidifying her position as a controversial figure within religious circles. Some view her newfound perspectives as a betrayal of her earlier beliefs, while others see it as a courageous evolution of thought.
“Five years ago, I lost my marriage. If you had told me that in five years I would have rebuilt my life, be safe and secure in my own story, secured autonomy and independence, I wouldn’t have believed it,” Hatmaker said. “Now I’m not afraid of my future. Never again will I outsource my life to someone else.” Awake details Hatmaker's journey of finding her voice and embracing her future on her own terms.
