And we’re going up against an All Blacks side that was thumped by the Springboks a fortnight ago, losing by a record margin after the South Africans put 36 points on them in the second period. Get it? The team the Wallabies beat by 38 points in the second half beat the All Blacks by 36 points in the same stanza! By that reckoning, our blokes might put 74 points on them in the last 40 minutes. Second coming: James O’Connor in action in Cape Town. Credit: Getty Images Yeah, nah. If we do beat them, it is more likely to be by just one point, by the hairs of our chinny-chin-chins. But our blokes are a real chance.
A rare Bird Younger readers – and I have noticed your numbers growing alarmingly as the years go by – may not be completely au fait with the late Dickie Bird, and why the iconic umpire, who died this week aged 93, was no less than the most beloved figure in international cricket. Great, and even generational players – Lillee, Lara, Botham, Warne – would come and go. But Harold “Dickie” Bird, who in his early years opened the batting with Sir Michael Parkinson for Yorkshire before becoming a Test umpire in the 1970s, 80s and 90s, was the charismatic, funny, honest, rock who stayed put at one end of the pitch even as the cricket world changed around him. Cricket umpire Dickie Bird has died aged 92. Credit: Getty Images Beloved by the players on and off the pitch, he was also the greatest cricketing raconteur, in no small part because he was so often on the spot when extraordinary things happened.
Here he is, for example, describing Shane Warne’s ball of the century: “I umpired his magic ball at Old Trafford. I was stood at his end. His first Test match in England and it was his first ball. It pitched outside the leg stump, turned and hit the top of Mike Gatting’s off stump. I said to Shane Warne after he bowled that delivery, ‘Young man, you will put your name in the record books.’ He never forgot those words. Lovely lad. Wherever I was, if he saw me he’d say, ‘Come and have a drink’.” And then there was the time, during the 1993 Ashes campaign, that Merv Hughes was sending them down to England’s Graeme Hick, who kept swinging and missing – at which was Merv was loudly swearing in a manner to make a wharfie blush. “Could I have a word with you, Merv?” Dickie asked him up after one fearful explosion. “I want you to stop swearing and be a good boy.” Merv pauses, looks Dickie up and down and says, “Dickie Bird, you’re a legend, I won’t swear again.” And what happened then, Dickie?
Loading “He came in next ball, Hick played and missed, and I’ve never heard language like it in all my life!” But, no hard feelings. “I was out in Australia with my autobiography a few years later. I was sat in my room in my hotel and there was a knock on the door. Who do you think it was? Merv. With a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates. He is a wonderful man.” The greatest of them all, Dennis Lillee, equally loved Dickie. During an Ashes Test at the Oval in the 1970s, with DK frustrated after having a series of lbw appeals turned down, the tearaway fast bowler was close to losing it.
Alas, when Dickie turned him down again, when Dennis was certain he had the Englishman plumb, he did indeed lose it, opening his remarks with the view that Dickie was a “f---ing” this and a “f---ing” that, before concluding, “You’re still the best umpire in the world.” “And you, Dennis,” Dickie replied sagely, “are the best f---ing fast bowler in the world. But it is still not out.” Vale, Dickie Bird. You made the great game greater still, and you will be missed. Bobby dazzler Meantime? Meantime, congratulations to Robert “Bobby” Dicks, who not only turned 90 last Sunday, but also shot his age playing golf at the Everglades Country Club up Woy Woy way – and scored 41 Stableford points to win the “Roosters” social club event.
A former plumber and TAFE teacher, Bobby has been a member for 40 odd years and shared a cart with good mate Alex Bell, also 90, who had won the Roosters event the week before. And yes, under the club system, they could play off the green markers for seniors, but both insist on playing off the blue markers like everyone else. Bravo, both. And happy birthday, Mr Dicks. Chocolate Soldiers on the march I’m sorry everyone, I am just going to have to go with me on this one. The Panthers are going all the way – you read it here first. Credit: Getty Images “Penrith!” I said in this space in late June. They’re back!
“Seemingly out of nowhere, the sinking ship has righted itself, the captain has set a new course, and they are the ones doing the thumping ... It is the way they are playing: the confidence, the verve, the swerve is back. Cleary ain’t weary, To’o ain’t so-so and Issah Yeo is once more on the boil, boil, toil and trouble.” And what a story, I noted. Loading “To go from reigning premiers, to losing five of their first six matches, to then scratching and clawing their way back into contention, before starting to dominate would be that rarest of all things in rugby league – something new.” At much the same time, the greatest prognosticator of the lot, Andrew Johns – and he really is, as well as being the most readable – had just about written them off. Noting they had to play against the likes of Melbourne, Canterbury and Canberra coming off the Origin series, Andrew wrote, “For mine, given that tough run comes against in-form teams after another gruelling Origin series, it’s just too much for Penrith.” He followed up on August 13, writing: “I’ve been saying all year that I didn’t think they could win the title. But that was on the assumption they couldn’t get into the top four.”
And they didn’t, finishing seventh. But watching them against Canterbury last week, the ’Riff were nothing less than extraordinary, blowing the Bulldogs off the park. They won’t do that to the Broncos tomorrow, but they will beat them – and go on to win the grand final. You heard it here first, Andrew! I will be in my trailer if anyone needs me. What They Said Comedian Peter Helliar, on that very clever show on Channel Ten, The Cheap Seats: “Congratulations to the Gold Coast Suns’ Matt Rowell, who took home the Brownlow Medal last night. Rowell has overcome some challenges in his career including a serious shoulder injury and ACL, and the biggest challenge of all: being a redhead playing outdoor sport in Queensland.”
The most beloved cricket figure in the world, umpire Harold “Dickie” Bird, who died this week aged 92, on why he was a bachelor all his life: “I’m married to cricket, and the ground is my wife.” Aussie high jumper Nicola Olyslagers on winning the world championships: “If Jesus was enough for me when I was last, he’s enough when I’m first. Every time that I was jumping. It was just worship. I was like, let’s go. I have such a joy because I know these moments are forever, the gold medal was the added bonus.”. Riiiiight, then. I have held it in, and you must, too. Indian cricketer Suryakumar Yadav unimpressed with Pakistan: “According to me, if two teams play 15-20 matches and if it is 7-7 or 8-7, then that is called a rivalry. But 13-0, 10-1 ... I don’t know what the stats are. But this is not a rivalry any more.” Brownlow medallist Matt Rowell: “I always wanted to play AFL. I knew from a young age that is all I wanted to do. You know, it might sound a little bit arrogant, but I knew I wanted to be an AFL player and I had a feeling that I was going to get there.” Nicola Olyslagers won gold in the high jump at the World Championships. Credit: Getty Images
English 200m runner Amy Hunt after winning silver at the World Championships: “You can be an academic badass and a track goddess. I’m showing that you can do everything, and anything, you set your mind to. You can be the best at everything.” Brazilian race walker Caio Bonfim on winning gold in the 20km walk at the World Championships: “I lost my wedding ring in the third kilometre. I believe my wife will be OK because I won today. People in Brazil can now say, ‘Caio Bonfim won medals as well’.” Collingwood coach Craig McRae after the Magpies were eliminated: “I think losers make excuses, we don’t, we’re winners. We didn’t win today, clearly beaten by a better team. I think they would’ve beaten us anyway, the way they were playing. You could say ‘what ifs’ and ‘if only’, but it’s not the space we live in.” Loading Hawthorn coach Sam Mitchell asked if he had a tip, from those left in it, after his own side were eliminated: “Nope. I hope they all lose.”
Leigh Matthews on Geelong’s Tom Stewart missing the grand final due to the concussion protocols: “This was the elephant in the room. It was always going to happen. So who are these bozos behind the scenes of the AFL, in the executive and the commission, that have allowed this to exist since the concussion protocol was put in place?” Do you think his damaged brain gives a flying ruck that it is a grand final, Leigh? The rules are for his safety. That’s it. Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim won’t change his formation for anyone: “No, no, no .... Not even the pope will change [this]. This is my job. This is my responsibility. This is my life. So, I will not change that.” Boris Becker on winning Wimbledon so young: “If you remember any other wunderkind, they usually don’t make it to 50 because of the trials and tribulations that come after. Whatever you do, wherever you go, whoever you talk to, it becomes a world sensation. When you start a second career everything is measured at this success of winning Wimbledon at 17. And that changed the road ahead tremendously. I’m happy to have won three, but maybe 17 was too young. I was still a child.” Team of the Week Wallabies. Take on the All Blacks at Eden Park later today, and are at least half a chance.
England and Canada. Contest the Women’s Rugby World Cup final later today. For just the second time since 1994, New Zealand aren’t in it. It’s a sign! Geelong Cats and Brisbane Lions. Good luck to both in today’s AFL big dance. The first all feline grand final since Geelong lost to Richmond in 2020. Australian cricket team. Going to New Zealand to play some meaningless T20s, which will be forgotten the instant they are over. Spare me. Loading Penrith Panthers. Tomorrow they will try to make it to their sixth straight grand final. Win, lose or draw, it is a remarkable effort – and all the more impressive for the fact that after round 12, they were stone motherless last, clawing their way back to last week trounce the Bulldogs – who at that time were top of the table.
[SRC] https://www.smh.com.au/sport/rugby-union/i-won-t-tip-the-wallabies-and-you-can-t-make-me-but-gee-we-re-a-chance-20250925-p5my0f.html
